install theme

condom:

trust:

i want $23,000 and someone to kiss me

I want the $23,000, hold the kisses

youredarrenfreakingpotter:

My dad would tell me that when we were little and people would say to him “wow, four daughters, that’s a lot of weddings to pay for” (because traditionally the bride’s family would pay for the wedding), my dad would respond with “well, we’re hoping at least one of them will be gay so we can split the cost with the other bride’s family”
He said people never knew how to respond

trebled-negrita-princess:

lovelifelaurennn:

thisbitchyellsback:

phosphorescentt:

septemberism94:

why test on animals when there are prisons full of rapists

because the prisons aren’t actually full of rapists

the rapists run free and the prisons are full of people charged with weed possession

OOOOPS

image

image

Anonymous:
does sex hurt more if you've never masturbated before?
Me:

uoa:

life hurts more if you’ve never masturbated 

i swear i get uglier everyday

(Source: mammamoon)

livelovehep:

sunalwaysshining:

meladoodle:

what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please

I just spit out my coffee

You’re supposed to swallow it

(Source: meladoodle)

mikeygetsfit:

noodleweight:

these-greatexpectations:

This is BRILLIANT

I was fucking hoping this would happen.

This blew my mind.

(Source: reddit.com)

uncoke:

imagine what it feels like to have friends. wow.

(Source: hesitence)